10.24.11

On October 24th my life changed forever. I'm not going to tell you about how happy I was that day because that's obvious and boring. My life changed forever, not simply because my heart was so full of joy and love that it nearly exploded, but because I had a nervous breakdown at 1 am when I realized I was never going to get a full night's sleep again. My life changed forever when I realized that we live in a society where two clueless new parents are allowed to go home with a fragile newborn and the only thing said parents get from the hospital is a few diapers and a huge stack of bills. My life changed forever when I was strapped to a table in what felt like a meat locker, fully aware that behind a thin blue curtain I was split open and my internal organs were on display for a team of about 37 doctors and nurses. If that wasn't weird enough, they proceeded to pull a baby out of me. A baby. A full size newborn with eyes, ears and fingers. If I didn't know it happened every day I'd think I had been abducted by aliens. Weirdest.experience.ever.


2 months later it's still a blur. We've been mixing bottles and changing diapers like robots in the middle of the night. I look at her and wonder a few things like, whose idea was this in the first place and how this baby came out with lightish brown hair and no eyebrows. I thought for sure she'd be my spitting image, unibrow and all. I hadn't considered she's 50% Dan so when she showed up with small round ears and a cute button nose I demanded a maternity test. Surely they drugged me and the c-section was a dream. The bigger she gets the less and less I believe she's mine and the more and more I fall in love with this beautiful stranger baby. 


Motherhood has made me do some ridiculous things. To prove this here are some pictures from her Anne Geddes inspired photoshoot at 4 days old. Seriously, who am I? 

...and then I put her in an apple bucket.

Check back in and I'll tell you about onesies (cotton torture devices) and the research I've conducted to find out what I could have possibly done in my past life to deserve such a wonderful husband and family.